The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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