you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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