i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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