Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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