I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
