I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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