i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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