theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
