So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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