I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
