sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
