first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
