I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
How external is "for external use only"?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
