wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
