Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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