My balls are so social today.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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