I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
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I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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