Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
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