Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Randomize
