Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
