that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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