someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
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