oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
