im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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