Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
