i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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