and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
It's just like the Real World with babies
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
