put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize