Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
