I'm pants shitting drunk right now
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I know her cup size but not her name....
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
