I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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