4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
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Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Pooping to opera.
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