The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I have post one night stand depression
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
