I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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