Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
being pregnant is like rehab
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Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
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that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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