are you still at the devil's house?
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
