Don't you send me to vm
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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