My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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