Me. At least after what I've been through.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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