He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
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I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
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I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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