So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
