oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
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