You work out of a Hotel?
okay pat passed out under dana's car
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.