Texts From Last Night

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  (209): View more from California

  AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.

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  (209): AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now. http://tfl.nu/g0pf
  Replies (22) Good night (888) Bad night (3164)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?

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  (662): New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests? http://tfl.nu/8lkf
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.

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  (314): no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive. http://tfl.nu/qwvv
  Replies (19) Good night (6744) Bad night (554) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.

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  (703): You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist. http://tfl.nu/4hjw
  Replies (4) Good night (869) Bad night (3672) Order T-Shirt
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her

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  (336): We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her http://tfl.nu/niqc
  Replies (14) Good night (1303) Bad night (5296) Order T-Shirt
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?

  (317): View more from Indiana

  all hypothetical of course

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  (317): if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all? (317): all hypothetical of course http://tfl.nu/v0tg
  Replies (14) Good night (5369) Bad night (1104)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.

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  (203): we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something. http://tfl.nu/yca0
  Replies (3) Good night (2819) Bad night (737) Order T-Shirt
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.

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  (970): Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day. http://tfl.nu/cvyh
  Replies (10) Good night (1288) Bad night (1212) Order T-Shirt
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  (559): View more from California

  We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.

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  (559): We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child. http://tfl.nu/mund
  Replies (4) Good night (1965) Bad night (619) Order T-Shirt
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.

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  (618): Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum. http://tfl.nu/gdla
  Replies (8) Good night (1451) Bad night (420) Order T-Shirt
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men

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  (541): I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men http://tfl.nu/fivt
  Replies (14) Good night (833) Bad night (1693) Order T-Shirt
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.

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  (218): I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately. http://tfl.nu/wrd1
  Replies (2) Good night (948) Bad night (145) Order T-Shirt
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily

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  (815): And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily http://tfl.nu/5rme
  Replies (2) Good night (464) Bad night (173) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.

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  (610): why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from? (484): question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA. http://tfl.nu/jqh5
  Replies (2) Good night (1073) Bad night (223)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense

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  (330): i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense http://tfl.nu/4n80
  Replies (0) Good night (217) Bad night (269) Order T-Shirt

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