I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
