I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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