the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
