I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
