I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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