After last night, I could never be a politician.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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