Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
