Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
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So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
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He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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