Texts From Last Night

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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.

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  (405): I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave. http://tfl.nu/m2vh
  Replies (30) Good night (3882) Bad night (607) Order T-Shirt
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.

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  (609): i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier. http://tfl.nu/075q
  Replies (14) Good night (4370) Bad night (477) Order T-Shirt
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him

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  (719): So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him http://tfl.nu/i94e
  Replies (21) Good night (592) Bad night (5931) Order T-Shirt
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  (650): View more from California

  after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you

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  (650): after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you http://tfl.nu/blf7
  Replies (38) Good night (9773) Bad night (583)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.

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  (+44): I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life. http://tfl.nu/7cvo
  Replies (21) Good night (8519) Bad night (657) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin

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  (610): just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin http://tfl.nu/q7yy
  Replies (2) Good night (2751) Bad night (619) Order T-Shirt
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  (510): View more from California

  Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed

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  (510): Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed http://tfl.nu/wx92
  Replies (4) Good night (2490) Bad night (725) Order T-Shirt
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  (530): View more from California

  I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?

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  (530): I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster? http://tfl.nu/nheu
  Replies (32) Good night (528) Bad night (3982) Order T-Shirt
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever

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  (715): I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever http://tfl.nu/rkkg
  Replies (3) Good night (1361) Bad night (352)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though

  (1-781): View more from Massachusetts

  21st birthday = success

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  (781): you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though (1-781): 21st birthday = success http://tfl.nu/y3qn
  Replies (8) Good night (1483) Bad night (416) Order T-Shirt
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...

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  (613): Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick... http://tfl.nu/9qzg
  Replies (3) Good night (899) Bad night (391) Order T-Shirt
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.

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  (501): There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success. http://tfl.nu/8q5q
  Replies (4) Good night (1195) Bad night (169) Order T-Shirt
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.

  (616): View more from Michigan

  2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.

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  (616): 2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll. (616): 2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll. http://tfl.nu/3aiz
  Replies (6) Good night (912) Bad night (253)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.

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  (541): Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways. http://tfl.nu/r7l2
  Replies (1) Good night (409) Bad night (211) Order T-Shirt
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.

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  (651): Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong. http://tfl.nu/nhsj
  Replies (3) Good night (219) Bad night (109)

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