i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
