she was so not down for the gang bang
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
