he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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