Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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