Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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