People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
