So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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